Space Jamilton

I legitimately can't believe it's already Friday.

STICK TO SPORTS AND/OR BROADWAY

I have an unpopular admission to make, and frankly it doesn’t make me happy to say it. I’m not looking for allies. I don’t like talking about things I don’t like! That’s what Twitter’s for and I deleted my account for that reason.

But from a narrative standpoint, we need to lay a specific amount of groundwork: Hamilton does not appeal to me. At all.

I don’t hold it against anyone who takes delight from the show, I really don’t, but when there’s singing people doing twirly-whirlies while Lin-Manuel Miranda wears a meticulously trimmed goatee, a floofy shirt, and a ponytail — all while pretending to be a founding father and incorporating American hip-hop — you have to understand that this is much more on the “circus” side of the spectrum than the “serious” side to me.

I’m sorry, but is this something other than hilarious?

This will be my least successful follow prompt of all time.

But again, who am I other than a guy who used to have a lot more social media accounts. Enjoy what you like and disregard me as needed. I don’t get anything out of you feeling bad or deciding your pleasure is guilty. If Hamilton’s rad to you, keep it that way.

Something that delights me, however, is Slamilton, which is Hamilton except about Michael Jordan — or more accurately, Hamilton about Michael Jordan in his role in Space Jam, which really means this should have been called Space Jamilton except I guess they weren’t about the whole brevity thing.

This was brought to my attention by subscriber Garzoinks, and I am so glad they did that. If you want me to know about something, please leave me a comment about it — I promise I am extremely ignorant without all of your help.

On principle I don’t want to like this. As previously established I don’t much care for Hamilton. I don’t like musicals in general; people don’t behave like that, please don’t make me watch an alto sing out their problems. Also, cinematically, Space Jam’s best aspect is its soundtrack. And if we’re really in the Trust Tree, I think Michael Jordan is the most overr[ERROR: CONNECTION LOST]. But even while I don’t get whatever cues are coming from the Hamilton and what are the producer’s decisions, this… this is bananas good.

I’m not even in the middle of the Venn Diagram that this Girl Talk-type mashup would appeal to the most, and I still very much enjoyed the Slamilton that was sent to me, and I can only imagine that those among you whom are well versed in both arenas will find it thrilling beyond measure.

It’s just… how do you wear a ponytail and a goatee and a poofy shirt and NO ADAM DELETE THIS PART

STICK TO FREE-STANDING STRUCTURES

This is a free-standing structure.

It looks like it shouldn’t work, not at all, not in the goddamn slightest. Two large glass and metal masses, one suspended over the other by a series of (legitimate) chains, and no hidden chicanery to explain it? What in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks?

The answer is tensegrity, not even a word in a spellcheck sense, and I cannot possibly do the explanation justice, but good lord I love it and I’m going to need a living room conversation piece soon. This is brilliant.

(If you’re looking for the meta, the downward force on the structure affects the middle chain and its connections to the two pieces. Could you put a potted on it? I’d reckon so. Can you sit on it? Ask yourself: is that something you’d subject that little old chain to?)

Share prompt! I should have written something for this! Now we’re just awkwardly staring at each other while I point at the share button. That. That right there. I don’t even know what happens when you click it, but… click it. Share. We got taught that in kindergarten. Sharing is caring. You know what not sharing makes you? A libertarian, that’s what, and no adult should cop to that with a straight face.

STICK TO AFFIRMATIONS

Thanks for joining me today. We’ll always end on a kind word.

I’m officially vaxxed to the maxx, got my second shot on Monday and my side effects have subsided. I juked out Covid for a year, I hope you did too, and now it’s a matter of patience. 2020 was marked by bleakness; 2021 looks like a finish line a third of the way through the race track. If you’re like me you’re going to cross that line and have a deep emotional reckoning.

I’m now looking forward to the two-week threshold where I can start engaging in high-risk behavior like flying in airplanes, eating in restaurants indoors, and hugging casual acquaintances. Some of us are old enough to remember when “high-risk behavior” included skydiving without a parachute, sharing needles and key parties, which honestly… actually I’ve said too much.

There’s so much I want to do with my vaccination. There’s people I want to visit, restaurants I want to be served at (I have my list of five), sporting venues I want to see and group meetings I’ll never take for granted again. I’m ten days away from sharing space with people. I’ve needed this for a calendar year, and I don’t ever want to waste that kind of time in my life ever again.

I am genuinely astonished by the amount of people who follow and read me. It rules. You all rule. And since you’re all so awesome, as tall as you want to be, sophisticated and handsome and/or lady-handsome, I’d like to know what your post-vaccination plans include. Be as vague or specific as you’d like. And if it’s appropriate, I hope I can share that space with you.

Stay safe and stay well, friends.